In The News & Other Stuff

Hey, let's talk.

First of all, let me tell you that my cat is like no other cat. I wouldn't say she is my pet, except of course, for the fact that I feed her & clean up her poop. I think if you looked that up, that would make me her servant. I try to be a good one. Zoey is obsessed with suckers. Not those people on the street that buy fake Rolex's but suckers, Tootsie Roll Pops, Dum Dums. She been obsessed since the Halloween before last.

I keep suckers in the house because they remind me of my childhood and visits to my grandparents house & because I use them as stress relief when I can't smoke. I smoke. Don't tell anyone, it's something I do in the closet, not literally, but it may as well be.

I keep suckers on top of my fridge, Zoey jumps up there, delicately takes one down with just the one paw and let's it fall to the floor. I didn't realize this was happening until I found 7 tootsie roll pops scattered around the house AND I heard her rustling with packaging and I couldn't figure out what she could be messing with. I discovered her on top of my fridge. So now I pick up the suckers and I put them back in the bowl. I decided it gave her something to do with her spare time.

Ok, on to the news.

The University of Minnesota did a study on kids and casual sex. The did a survey of 1300 kids and were surprised to find that only one fifth said their last encounter was casual and that they weren't emotionally affected by this. I have so many problems with this "study" that I'm not sure I can list them all.

First of all 1300 kids in Minnesota does not a study make. Secondly, are they taking into consideration that not all kids are honest while doing these surveys let alone with themselves. Thirdly, 260 kids that admit to having casual sex and say they're ok with it is not some scientific break through....260 kids out of the millions we have in America is not a whole lot. If you're going to do an interview, call it an interview and if 1300 kids from one area are the only ones involved, don't call it a study.

"We were so surprised," said Marla Eisenberg, an assistant professor at the university's School of Public Health.

"The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, 'friends with benefits,' and hooking up is hurtful."

How about you check with a few thousand more kids, and maybe talk to them past the age of 24 and see if their sexual history isn't a little more "hurtful" after they've grown up and become adults.

This "study" reminds me of the pro-life commercial that talks about how many abortions are repeat abortions. I can't remember the percentage now, but one night I did the math. There are very few women who use abortion as birth control, but this PSA insinuates that most women do. I find it offensive that they think I'm not smart enough to do the math and I think it's offensive that they are painting every woman who has ever had an abortion for whatever reason in the same light as those few who are too lazy to take care of themselves.

Ok, on to the second part of my news report. What is up with women using food as a weapon? Is this a new thing or just something I wasn't told about? First we had the woman who beat her man with a raw steak for asking for a roll instead of the sliced bread that she was offering (I guess this puts a new meaning on the "best thing since sliced bread" adage), and then we have a woman who pours grits on her boyfriend because he said he was breaking up with her. Women! There are starving children in America, you're wasting food and going to jail, who is this helping???

Jon Gosselin has been banned from public appearances (at least those that pay) Yay Judge!!

We have a convict who is going to get his tattoos covered by a make up artist before court everyday because his lawyer feels that they may sway the jury against him. Hey, he put them on there, let the tattoo sway where it may.

Chastity (Chaz) Bono is very happy in her...I mean his, role of a man. He had his breasts removed but refuses to talk about the rest of his surgery. His longtime girlfriend says she's very happy too. Ok, two things. Chaz, you're not attractive, not as a woman or a man, and secondly, wasn't this a lesbian relationship? I think you're both confused.