Saturday, January 30, 2010

Saturday Morning Musings

It's early, too early...but I've been up for hours. arch nemisis. Just let the snow lay there for awhile you early rising, loud engine bastards. It's ok though, I like the early mornings. I watched Mr. Ed fool Wilbur into thinking he had parrot pox by covering himself in green dots with food coloring. Man that was one smart horse.....or Wilbur was mentally ill and should have been taking lithium. I'm kind of going with that second one.

I watched Joe Rogan do stand up. Do you know who Joe Rogan is? He's the guy who used to host Fear Factor. It was an old show from 2005 but this is what I do on Saturday mornings. I watch stand up because I like to start my day laughing. He's a pretty funny guy too. I never knew that. He was talking about how stupid people have no idea they're stupid. Well if anyone should know, it's him. How many people did he watch eat raw animal parts for money? I mean, come on, there are certain things you should just never put in your mouth, let alone your digestive system. I don't care how much money someone is offering me, I am not chewing on a goat penis. Which is how I know that I'm at least a few rungs above the really stupid people.

You know what I really love, the stupid criminal stories. I remember one where a girl tried to use her boyfriends ski pass. When she got caught she said she was transgender. His parents were shocked when the resort called. They had no idea their son had these issues. I had to give her credit for thinking on her feet though.

One of my favorites was about two guys that thought using a sharpie was a great way to make a disguise. I don't think they thought that through. I wonder if it ever occured to them why criminals usually stick to things like ski masks and pantyhose? It's hard to lose permanent marker when you're running down the street with a few cops chasing you. Made for some pretty embarrassing mug shots too. Not nearly as embarrassing as Nick Nolte's, but right up there.

You know, if you're going to be a criminal you really should plan ahead. If I'm going to start shoplifting or robbing banks or carjacking I'm going to make sure I'm wearing a flattering color, my hair is done and I use waterproof mascara so when I cry at the police station (you never know, sometimes crying might get you somewhere in a situation like that)..."Oh, lady, please don't cry. We hate that. Here, just give us the keys to the car, I'm sure the two kids in carseats in the back seat will be fine with a little counseling and just get the heck out of here. Oh, and don't do it again!"...but just in case crying doesn't work I don't want to look bad when I end up on TruTV's Dumb Blogs. You never know when you might meet Mr. Right.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Ok I'm Angry

I have a new granddaughter. A new one. This is my fourth grandchild. Ask me how many I have a relationship with. None. Not one.

I am so angry. I have a granddaughter. She's 10. She's perfect and we were close. Her Mother decided that she shouldn't know us. Ok.

I have a granddaughter, she's 2. Her Mother is deciding now if she should know us.

I have a grandson. I don't even know his name.

I have a granddaughter. She was born today.I have high hopes.

I am so sad.....

Saturday Reflections from the Window

I love Saturday mornings. I don't have to get up, but I do...because who wants to waste a day where you don't have to go to work.

I took my car down for it's emmissions test today. I had to, it's got to be registered by next week and I've lollygagged as long as I can. I love the word lollygag. I want to lollygag all the time, but I'm not rich enough to lollygag. So I work, and on Saturdays I lollygag. Anyway, my car passed...just in case you were holding your breath waiting. Now I can lollygag.

Another one of my favorite words is plethora. I have a plethora of paperwork I need to file, but maybe I'll do that later, today I'm lollygagging.

Next week school starts. I have to take math. I think it's unfair that I have to take math. I'm 50. I have a job, bills and a checking account. I can obviously do some kind of math. Can't they just give me credit for having gotten this far without ending up on a street corner with a sign and a cup...or a short skirt and no discretion?

I've been reading the news about the tragedy in Haiti. It sure makes you count your blessings. I have a plethora of those too. I have the ability to lollygag on a Saturday, warm and secure in the apartment I pay for out of the checking account I balance with the money I make from my job. Those poor folks are living in tents and looking for their loved ones and burying them by the thousands in mass graves. No one should ever have to do that. I thank God for the ones that have survived and the kids that they have allowed to come here to the families that can keep them safe and warm and they too can lollygag on a Saturday.

I had a dream last night....about my granddaughter and her Mother. It's a long story but it made me sad. One day I'll tell that story, but not today. I have another granddaughter waiting to make her entrance into this world we live in. She should be here any day now. I'm going to focus on that.

Back to lollygagging. Have a safe, warm and happy Saturday.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Loving the imperfections of others

I'm not perfect. Are you? If I died tomorrow, would I be ok with what I left? Would everyone that I loved know that I loved them?

My friend lost her son this week. He was much too young, he had so far to go. He left a son. A beautiful little boy who will grow up with stories about his Dad. No experiences.

When you give birth to these kids you don't expect it to go badly. You only want the best. Maybe you aren't the best Mother, maybe you made the wrong choices, maybe you just didn't never want to hurt your kids.

I can't imagine losing one of my children. I can't imagine how I would feel. I can't inagine that anything would ever fill the hole in my heart.....

Rest In Peace Kenny, know that you were loved.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Vacation Day One

Well I made it. I beat the snow by minutes. I thought I might lose the battle as I circled the airport looking for the cheap parking. I found the $13 a day park in the snow parking but couldn't find the $5 a day parking in the snow parking. A very nice German lady pointed me in the right direction.

Ticketed, through security, I got the pat down but I prefer to think of it as a mini rub down "Just a little to the left please...yeah, that's the spot."

I boarded the sardine can they like to call an aircraft & I thought I was doing ok. I was sitting by the window because I'm not picky, another woman chose the aisle seat. Ok. They announced it was a full flight & every seat would be taken. Oh the suspense. Then I saw him, the hulking 30 something guy with the legs up to my waist. I knew it was him the minute I saw him.

He made himself comfortable. Very comfortable, in his space, in my space, in the woman with the purple shirt who sat by the aisle's space. I wanted to be her so much at that moment. It took everything I had not to climb over the seat in front of me and head for one of those emergency exits over the wing.

Then he brought out the laptop, the tray came down, his knees came over and so did his elbows. I thought the warmth of his arm in my waist was a little familiar since I didn't even know his name, but it didn't seem to bother him much.

The very funny flight attendant (gotta give Southwest credit, their planes may suck eggs, but they have great help) came by to take our order. Trying to fight off a cold I ordered orange juice. When I saw the look on his face as it was passed to me over his laptop I finished that one and had another. Then I had some coffee, with cream and sugar please. I noticed his elbows moved in as he protected his keyboard. I didn't have time to order a Bloody Mary.

I ordered one at a restaurant during my layover in Phoenix. For $10.98 I got a little tomato juice, I suppose there was some vodka in there, and a stalk of wilted celery. I ordered some fries. I think they pick them up after the lunch rush at McD's. Oh well, they were ONLY $3 and they helped the Bloody Mary go down. When I dipped them in ketchup they made it seem like there really was some tomato juice in that drink.

They had the weirdest tile in that place. It was supposed to look like grass but it didn't quite measure up and I kept thinking it looked like a really big mouse pad.

The short flight from Phoenix to Albuquerque was uneventfuil, the Flight Attendants not nearly as amusing. They said that flight was completely sold out tooT, however, the center seat in my row never did get taken. I wonder if someone was doubling up in the back because they saw the look in my eyes. Hey, I could've handled it for 50 minutes.

It's good to be back in NM. I'm staying with a friend who ironically came home to frozen pipes. I hope she doesn't mind that I used some of the babies water to make my coffee this morning. Maybe later we can cruise by my place & see if I still have any of my frozen pipe arsenal left in the back room.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


I'm heading out this morning, weather permitting. Going to fly home for a week and catch up with my kids and my friends and my house. I keep trying to juggle the short time I have there, I guess it will be ok. A person can only do what they can do, right?

I could've picked a better time, maybe a warmer time, but I needed to get out of here and re-group. It's been a year and a 1/2 of major changes: different jobs, new place, different climate, two different apartments, school, new friends and I feel like I need to just get back to the place where I spent over half of my life and touch base or touch down. Something to make me come back here with a new energy and a new outlook.

My bags are packed, there's not too much snow on the ground, the cold I've been trying to fend off for a week took this opportunity to settle in and take hold. I'm hoping a nice steamy shower will knock some of it loose and I won't be hacking and wheezing on the airplane. Have you ever sat next to someone like that? I have and I wanted to open a door and bail about half way through the flight. I wonder if they're going to let me take my cough drops on the plane? It would definitely be in their best interests.

Ok, I'm just about ready to head out. Of course the snow had to start again. Nothing in my life is ever easy but it's always an adventure.

See you on the flip side.

Friday, January 1, 2010

January 1st, 2010

I have to practice writing 2010. I kind of like it. Its full of nice even numbers and can be divided easily by 2.

Well the new year is here. I'm a fan of new years although I've noticed they're coming closer & closer together. Is someone stealing days, maybe even weeks, from my years? When you're young it seems like everything takes so long to happen: Growing up, getting your license, your first date, turning 18 and then 21, school drags on FOREVER. Then you get to be my age and the only thing that seems far away are those days of things taking forever to happen. My oldest son turned 31 on Christmas day. 31!! I remember when I thought I was too young to date someone who was 31, now I'm the Mother of one. What the heck happened here?

The news has been weird lately. Is anyone as relieved as I am that the terrorist on flight 253 was wearing clean underwear? Wouldn't that have been embarrassing for his Mother if he hadn't. Granted, not as embarrassing as her already having to deal with the fact that her son is a psycho nut, but still. The poor woman has enough to deal with.

Did you guys read about the woman who was caught in a stolen van with a blood alcohol level of .70? Geez, after about .50 you gotta wonder how she even got the bottle to her mouth. Maybe she was having it pumped into her system intraveneously. I wonder if she had on clean underwear.

I doubt Charlie Sheen is having good holidays, but Tiger Woods should send him a thank you card for taking the focus off of him. Jon Gosselin had a break in, now they're saying it was a hoax. I'm not sure who staged the hoax but I have my ideas. Even with the threatening note stabbed into the wooden furniture he barely got a paragraph. See, Jon, that's what happens when you think you've got something you don't, mainly any kind of talent or anything interesting or redeeming to share with the rest of us.

Did you know the name Miley is increasing in popularity? Seriously folks, it wasn't her name to start with, it was baby talk for Smiley and now you're saddling your poor daughters' with that?  There's a woman who will never be able to lie about her age. Besides Miley Cyrus is an odd little girl. I watched her show once and there was something about her that just gave me the heebie jeebies.

Did you see the supposed picture of JFK with the naked women on the boat? TMZ didn't have much to say once it was proven to be an old playboy photo shoot, but even if it hadn't, who didn't know that JFK liked to diddle with the sweet young things? Um, Marilyn Monroe! Hellooo!

Well that's the news for now, at least the part that caught my attention. I hope your first day of the New Year is a good one, and all those that follow just get better.